Many years back, probably
ten or so, I hooked up with a cute guy. Went to his place, we had a good time.
Now, in the interim,
some years back, he had a stroke. From what he says I'm to assume that there
was some paralysis and his speech and motor skills were compromised, and his
recovery has been slow and arduous.
In the ensuing
decade, I too have faced physical challenges. Though my condition was not
caused by a stroke but cumulative spinal injuries, I too faced severe atrophy
and paralysis of my left arm, and while it has improved greatly, I still have a
pretty significant strength deficit in my upper body, am not nearly as agile as
I used to be, and fatigue easily.
Meanwhile I've not
seen this fellow in person, but do run into him from to time online, cruising
the sex sites. It's already established that we find one another attractive and
share great sexual chemistry. His stroke
has evidently not had a great effect on his libido. But, his sense of pride and
willingness to be seen has been greatly compromised.
Over the past
several years, I have all but begged him to spend an afternoon with me, but
he's not really ready to reveal himself. About a year ago another buddy of his
that is a total stranger to me made contact with me and told me about how
difficult it has been to break down the barrier that this guy has build up
around himself, and asked if I'd perhaps be interested in the three of us
getting together sometime, allowing myself to use this other gentleman as entre
to getting reacquainted. But, nothing has come to pass.
I just a few minutes
ago went through yet another email exchange with my old friend, and though he
admits to having the desire, he remains hesitant to open up and allow me to see
this. Life is going to visit upon us all
sorts of indignities. Oft times these
things can even be catastrophic. Some will manifest in profound changes in our
appearance or physical abilities, and others will leave emotional scars that
are extremely difficult to overcome.
Trust me, I've been there. I've
not only had to reconcile myself with the fact that upon close scrutiny, my bad
arm will always give me the appearance of a Stone Crab, one claw significantly
larger than the other. I have also faced
a very unfortunate experience that has left me with PTSD, extreme
claustrophobia, and a horrible fear of being in any manner restrained. I can't
even watch a TV show about spelunking without crawling out of my skin. But, this is mine to deal with. I do have
one strong and powerful arm, and as for the claustrophobia? It gives me a
perfect excuse to avoid flying Coach and justify the upgrade to Business or
To my friend that
has had the stroke: I realize this is a
matter of pride and vanity. But, personally, I'm not turned off by the fact
that your motor skills aren't 100%, or that your speech has been impaired. Hell, I speak English that I learned in New
Castle, PA, and Spanish that I learned on the streets of Miami. This qualifies me as being functionally
illiterate in two languages. Not to
mention that I hate to travel so have spent my entire life fucking foreigners
in order to feel like I've been out of the country. My whole life has been an
experience in ESL and trying to figure out wtf people are saying.
I want to make love
to you dude, I want to plow you senseless.
So, you don't feel you're the man you were ten years ago...411.. Neither
Honestly, I don't
even give a rat's ass if you drool all over me. I've been around long enough to
consider it part of the game, foreplay, lube, whatever. Pick up your crutches and drop your guard. You're still a hot man in my eyes.
Now, let's do this.