Yes, as a matter of fact, I did unfriend you.

Posted on 5/24/2014 by Daddy Will

I'm not one of these people that "cleans out" their list of Facebook friends from time to time. Even though I'm an atheist and a Democrat, I have many friend that are God fearing and even a few Republicans. Differences of opinion or constructive debate are not enough to get on my bad side. But, from time to time we run onto a person that just has a knack for finding the cloud for every silver lining. You don't dislike them, hell, you don't really disagree with them, you totally understand why they're so miserable, their attitude just SUCKS! So, I just sort of threw this together.

I had a feeling that you'd eventually notice that we were no longer Facebook friends,  and ask me why.  Was it a Facebook glitch? Had my account been hacked?  Was I angry with you, or had you said something that offended me in some manner?

I could pretend it's an error, or I could hem haw about and say that I had too many friends and I  didn't realized you even knew I existed, and to please not take it personally. But, what would be the point?   The truth is, you've said nothing that has offended me, but most everything you post and nearly every comment you make is offensive to the very gift of life that has been bestowed upon you.

You frequently speak of how unhappy you are, living in a situation where you feel like an outcast, unappreciated.  You're not has handsome or pretty as the other boys and girls, they make no attempt to include you in their reindeer games. Your family doesn't seem to understand you, or  they have difficulty accepting you for who you are.  You feel ugly and unattractive, awkward and unlovable, you feel as though you've been cheated by life itself, your pain is palpable.

See, here's where I'm supposed to pat you on the shoulder of your psyche and tell you not to take this personally, but the truth is, I'm hoping that you'll take it very personally.  I should also apologize for being so judgmental and harsh, but again, I'm not going to do so.

What entitles me to make these evaluations?  I'll tell you, because I am exactly like you.

I spent most of my life feeling ugly, like an alien, a guest at my own party.  I was sure the rest of the world had been invited to some grand dinner party, but that I was somehow only invited out of obligation and was expected to leave after cocktails and canapés were served.  I didn't feel worthy, didn't feel as though I belonged, never felt a part of but always apart from.  The only emotion I was really capable of nurturing was anger, anger at the world, anger at myself.  I could only feel better about myself by seeking out the flaws in others, trashing their triumphs as being little more than good luck, and undeserved at that, regaling in their tragedies, hoping it would give them a taste of the miserable failure that I feel all the time.

But somehow, I was fortunate enough to get a good look at my own reflection before the advent of social media, to make some changes, but it remains an ongoing struggle.  I still have days when I want to lash out, but I've learned that there is an easier way.  Criticizing  others does nothing to improve my own sense of well-being and happiness.    Sure, I'm clever and witty, I can cut a person off at the ankles with my sharp tongue, but as they say; "a sword cuts both ways."  What do I gain by being unkind? It certainly does nothing to enhance my own value.

Yes, you do show a bit of love, lust or compassion from time to time.  You post some adage about footprints in the sand, you reveal your sexual attraction for some hot man or woman, maybe even show empathy for an abused animal or injured war veteran. But, for the most part you post photos of people at what you perceive to be their absolute worse. You take great joy in laughing at the expense of an overweight person wearing spandex, or an urban girl wearing a prom gown that does not appeal to your high-end aesthetic. I sometimes wonder if you even realize how often you use words like fat, gross, bitch, ratchet, slut, disgusting, or worst of all ugly.    You feel ugly because you see the world as an ugly place.

You can change this, you really can.  But, you have to want to.  Desperation is a great impetus for change, but you don't have to get desperate, you only have to be willing, be willing to see things in a different manner,  be willing to think in a different manner, be willing to change your vocabulary.  Learn to seek out beauty where you ugliness glares, take a chance, fake it at first if you have to.  Eliminate words like ugly and bitch from your vocabulary.  Do whatever it takes to get honest with yourself and find the source of your anger. I'm willing to bet that it's based in self-pity and the notion that you've somehow been cheated.  Please, be willing to heal your anger.  The world is not your enemy, you are your enemy.

I don't dislike you, I am you.   Whether or not you take this personally, I know that I must take it personally for my own salvation and peace.

Copyright 2010 by W.F. McConahy Terms Of Use  ·  Privacy Statement