My belated contribution to National Coming Out Day.
OK, I personally don’t think that I chose to be gay but I long ago accepted the fact that I am and I have made the choice to be happy, to embrace and enjoy my sexuality, to love, to laugh, to cry, to fuck and do whatever else it is that people do regardless of their sexual orientation.
But this nature versus nurture issue has been going on for a long time. Seems that once the American Psychiatric Association came to the conclusion that homosexuality was not a mental illness we have been caught up in this debate about whether or not it’s a choice or are we born with our sexual orientation predetermined?
Does it really matter? Seriously, what if it were a matter of choice, I mean what if I did choose to be gay, certainly modern society is far enough advanced that they can conclude that whenever two consenting adults get together and get naked for mutual pleasure that it makes no sense to attempt to govern what they’re doing with their private parts or how they define sex or love.
I’m sure it’s safe to assume that there are still some states, counties or municipalities where the occasional archaic statute remains that would govern what one is supposed to do with Tab A and Slot B but they generally coincide with laws governing what days are considered legal to do laundry or at what age boys can give up knickers for long pants.
This type of legislation is giggled at today as being antiquated and quaint but I dare say had Lycra Spandex existed when the constitution was drafted we’d have some pretty strict regulations regarding who’d be permitted to wear it, at least in public. Hell, let’s vote on who should be allowed to wear cycling shorts. Sad thing is that living in the San Francisco Bay Area is a reminder that laws governing what would seem to be common sense are often the primary issue of an election.
No, this need to convince people that I was born gay is an attempt to convince them that according to their religious beliefs I am not a “bad” person. If I can prove that have some genetic predisposition to practice what they and their God sees as aberrant behavior, that I didn’t choose to be an abomination then their forgiveness can possibly redeem my very existence in the eyes of them and their God. I personally am not all that keen on being the vehicle of their benevolent forgiveness.
Like somehow if God and the Church can be convinced that I had little choice in the matter of my “gayness” then I’m more tolerable? That tired old thing about Jesus loves the Sinner, it’s the sin that He hates. In other words the problem is not that I’m a cock sucker but the fact that I suck cock, that I actually enjoy sucking cock, that I even consider sucking cock as a desirable pastime, something to do on my knees other than scrub the floor or pray?
I’m not going to tell anybody that it is wrong for them to believe in God or practice the religion of their choice. I can only say that for me personally the thought that I would put my trust and faith in a Higher Being that was hell bent on monitoring what I do with my genitals is not a belief system that interests me. I find the thought that an unseen entity is riding shotgun on my penis absurd, not to mention intrusive and voyeuristic to the point of being just creepy. I feel that artists and performers should be compensated for their craft so even the thought downloading pirated music and porn fucks with my own sense of Karma.
I’m a gay man and I’m totally cool with that, whether I’m a product of nature or nurture, whether my sexual orientation is innate or a subconscious choice is of no issue to me. I love and embrace every moment of my life and those that are a part of it.
I will not allow my happiness to be contingent on the acceptance or forgiveness of those whose belief system and behavior towards me is ruled by anything other rational, logical thought and their own true conscience.