HEY KIM, CAN I GET THE SALAD SHOOTER BACK??

Posted on 11/1/2011 by Daddy Will in kim kardashian kardashian divorce kardashian wedding wedding gifts kim kardashian kris humphreys divorce

THERE SEEMS TO BE A LOT OF CONCERN OVER THE PROPER PROTOCOL INVOLVED WHEN ONE’S MARRIAGE DOESN’T LAST LONG ENOUGH TO SEND OUT THE THANK YOU CARDS. I’M NOT ONE TO GIVE ADVICE BUT I’M CERTAINLY NOT ABOVE MAKING A SUGGESTION.

 

 

First of all let me state that I really don’t know enough about the Kardashians  to be hatin’ on ‘em and in reality being a hater just ain’t my forte.  I try to speak my truth but have no desire to be mean for the sake of being mean. 

Making fun of celebrities really doesn’t interest me. To be totally honest, it’s my very goal in life to be rich and famous, I want to be a celebrity so it would hardly behoove me to berate the very people I long to emulate, self-defeating to be unkind to those that have reached that goal.

As for the Kardashians, they seem to be a bit of alright, they’re terribly attractive young ladies and they most certainly have mastered the fame game.  They’ve taken the concept of personality as celebrity to a level that the old hangers- on at Studio 54 who invented the very concept, could never have never fathomed possible.

As I said, they are quite attractive young ladies and regardless of the fact that they personally lack the distinction of having a penis to hold my interest they certainly wear nice shoes. Also there is no denying the fact that their buxom bosoms and bodacious behinds certainly do seem to beckon a bevy of beautiful beaux that tend to pique my interest. Let’s just say that my taste in men tends to be Kardashian kindred.

Now, as most people in the free world that are not comatose are aware, Kim recently married a very handsome young man naked Kris Humphries.  I’ve not a clue who he is or from where he hales nor am I inclined research the matter, he serves as little more than a nuptial figurehead for my purposes here. He’s cute but how he even got invited for dinner in the first place eludes me, while not beyond the pale he certainly is a bit pale by Kardashian standards and for my personal taste.

Anyway, they had quite a lavish wedding,  costing zillions of dollars, attended by low people of high social standing and no doubt requiring countless fashion decisions. The entire affair kept Lifetime, Bravo and the E network buzzing  with speculation for some time.

Well, here it is, less than ninety days into wedded bliss and it seems divorce is imminent.  I hate to say “I told you so” but while I won’t be as sophomoric to say “one you go black, you never go back” I will tell you from personal experience that “light less filling” is hardly satisfying when it comes to beer much less the main course.

So, the question is; what to do with the gifts?  I honestly don’t know what establishments the future Mr. & Ms. Kardashian-Humphreys had chosen for their gift registry but I’ve a feeling that Wal-Mart and Target were not options.  Given their social standing and the economic clout of their guests I would surmise that they went in for places like Bed Bath & Beyond or perhaps even Brookstone for those unaffected by the tight economy and in a position to splurge.

So, is it proper etiquette to return the gifts or should they just divvy them up? She gets the Crock Pot and he gets the George Foreman grill?

I doubt she plans on doing much cooking and he’ll be on the rebound and snatched up by some cougar or wealthy homosexual in no time so it seems rather senseless to tote about a bunch of unneeded appliances. 

The reality is, if you were invited to the wedding in the first place you realized that this is after all a first marriage and had the sense to give accordingly, even if you did err on the side of largess it’s not like you can’t afford to take the loss, furthermore you most likely threw away the receipt by now anyway.

I say, call in a reputable auction house and have them assess, appraise and auction the crap off,  The proceeds can be donated to a worthy cause, like say the fund to repeal Prop 8 in California so that those of us that are not heterosexual are also granted the opportunity to make asses of ourselves.

Maybe even AMFAR or breast cancer research.  Hell, start a fund to restore Chris Jenner’s face to some simile of his former self.   Seems to me as a kid my mother used to refer to starving Armenian children or maybe it was screaming Armenians.

I’m just sayin….


Copyright 2010 by W.F. McConahy Terms Of Use  ·  Privacy Statement