AM I KINKY? TRY ME!

Posted on 1/31/2015 by Daddy Will

I get asked this question all the time. People assume by my appearance that I'm into all sorts of kink and fetishes. The truth is, I see myself as being painfully vanilla, just that I come packaged in a rather Rocky Road wrapper. I've never been accused of being a pretty boy. "Ruggedly handsome" is how I'm occasionally described and I'm totally cool with that. But, in all honesty, I'm willing to try most anything that doesn't involve poop or humiliation. At my age I'm more inclined to say "YES" than "NO." being aware that I've less time left to be presented with opportunities. } So, I do remain open.. here's my most recent adventure.

From time to time, (almost every day) I'll take advantage of the services of Craigslist to aid and abet me in my search for a piece of ass.

Over the years there's been a fellow that has responded several times. He's quite attractive, but due to distance and availability we've never hooked up.  I remember his face, but I always tend to forget his fetish, which he generally reminds me of after the exchange of a few messages.

He has a thing for watching men blow up balloons during sex.  Now, I don't find this at all kinky, just rather tedious and even somewhat tiresome considering that I was a heavy smoker for forty years. On a good day my lungs sound like a couple of paper bags. Hell, the doctor stand across the room to listen to my chest when I go for my physical.

Well, this particular day, the planets had aligned. The fellow was headed to the city and had an hour to spare, so I told him to grab his balloons and stop by. I had long ago informed him of my mild COPD and made no promises. Hell, I was so fuckin horny I'd have agreed to blow up a daycare center if that's what it took to blow a load.

Well, he shows up.  He was a bit of alright. Attractive enough, but I will say that the fine folks at Olan Mills had really done him a solid.  Anyway, we proceed to get naked and he pulls a few balloons out of his pocket. 

OK, these were not like balloons you'd blow up for a child's birthday party. nor were they the type of balloon that one may use to make a poodle. These were the size of a fucking weather balloon. You could have launched satellites with these suckers and have them carried into the stratosphere.  But, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  I grabbed on and gave it a quick stretch to make it appear that I was experienced, and I set to blowing up the balloon as he set to blowing me. 

He was on his knees looking heavenward as I expelled my emphysemic essence into this latex orb. I could see his excitement build with each breath expelled. Actually, it was kinda comforting to be judged by the size of something  other than my cock. 

Problem is that I didn't know when to stop, like how big is big enough?  Do I blow until it pops? Do I at some point tie it off and begin another? Maybe I could pinch the throat of the balloon between the thumb and forefinger of each hand and make that "kitty-cat" sound that I was taught as kid?  I suppose I could have just let go of it resulting in a loud farting sound as it took flight around us. That would at least allowed the opportunity to release the fart that I myself was attempting to stifle.

I held it there for a minute so he could behold my achievement as he continued to nurse on my oxygen deprived penis. He thought it was hot, I just felt stupid.  Finally I just let the air out of the balloon, reminded him of his appointment and casually began to get dressed.

So, the climax of this story is actually rather anticlimactic.

No harm, no foul....

p.s.  I kept the balloon as a souvenir of the event.































































































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